Quitting the Negative Cycle of Excuses and Addiction

 Quitting the Negative Cycle of Excuses and Addiction

By: Denny Soinski

Dulling the Pain

I have heard people say that they abuse alcohol and drugs to “dull the pain.” In fact, many of these same individuals state that almost everyone they know has a need to “dull the pain” somehow. Question: doesn’t life present all of us with pain? At the risk of sounding superficial, we need to stop our “paralysis by analysis,” stop searching for “the secret to life,” admit that we are all in some sort of pain, and start developing healthy, fulfilling, and productive actions, beliefs, and habits.

Life’s Setbacks and Frustrations

There are many disappointments and frustrations in life. Some people deal with these dissatisfactions by gravitating toward the quick fix, the easy way out, and toward the course of least resistance while others face their challenges by refusing to give in, focusing on positive and creative goals, and by rolling up their sleeves and getting to work doing something productive and fulfilling.

Habits, good and bad, and addictions seem to have an inertia or a life of their own. This being the case, if a positive momentum is to be realized, people need to involve themselves in healthy and beneficial habits rather than searching for shortcuts and giving in to harmful addictions.

Harmful vs. Healthy Activities

The vast majority of people are smart enough to know what is harmful and what is beneficial in their lives. People need to surround themselves with good things (healthy eating habits, proper sleep, contact with positive friends and relatives, doing helpful things for others, expressing thankfulness for the things they have) and start eliminating actions and behaviors that they know are negative (staying out until 2 or 3AM on work nights, spending money to finance their alcoholism or drug abuse, surrounding themselves with people of questionable character, eating mainly junk food, focusing on partying rather than on self-improvement, etc).

Positive Inertia and Meaning

A healthy or positive habit starts with one action. People need to take this first step so that they can understand how positive behaviors and thoughts feed on one another. It is therefore important for people to quiet their thoughts and honestly ask themselves what they can do to make their lives more fulfilling and more joyful. Once the positives are identified, it then becomes necessary to develop a plan of action, implement it, and stick to it. Setbacks and difficulties will happen. When they do, however, people need to face and overcome their problems rather than making excuses and giving in to their weaknesses and shortcomings.

In many instances, a person who is willing to get motivated and do something positive for someone or for himself is all it takes to cut into and change a negative cycle. Indeed, giving of oneself and helping others often helps a person take his mind off of his own problems and commonly results in a different, more positive perspective. Not only this, but helping others frequently enables a person to discover more healthy and good things about himself than he ever gave himself credit for. Once this happens, a person should not be surprised if he finds more significance and joy in his life than he ever experienced before.

Conclusion

Herein lies the moral of the story: happiness and meaning do not result from addictions and weakness but rather from overcoming one’s shortcomings and bad habits and replacing them with healthy, life-affirming actions, beliefs, and habits.

Copyright 2007 - Denny Soinski. All Rights Reserved Worldwide. Reprint Rights: You may reprint this article as long as you leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and give the author credit.

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Anxiety and Panic Attacks - Most Asked Questions

Anxiety and Panic Attacks - Most Asked Questions

by: Alan Allport

Research has found that in the USA alone over 20 million people suffer the debilitating effects of anxiety and panic attacks. Many of these people are sadly phobbed off with that old cliche 'it's all in your mind' when they broach the subject with friends and colleagues.

Let's have a look at the most commonly asked questions concerning anxiety and panic attacks. Reading through these will help you to sort the fact from the fiction if you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks yourself, or you know someone who does.

Does the medical profession fully recognise how serious anxiety and panic attacks can be?

Generally, yes. There will always be differences of opinion amongst medical professionals, but anxiety attacks are now classified as mental disorders and doctors do recognise how debilitating and life-affecting these can be for sufferers.

What causes anxiety and panic attacks?

The two major causes are fear and stress. It is generally accepted that our lives are becoming more and more stressful. Home environment and the pressures of the workplace are two of the major anxiety and panic inducers that most of us are subject to in our daily lives. How your mind handles this stress will determine whether you suffer from anxiety and panic attacks.

Is there a cure for anxiety and panic attacks?

It is certainly true that you can change the way you react to the stressful situations you are subject to. Changing the way you react to stress is the key to controlling your anxiety and panic attacks. Re-programming your mind to deal with stress in a different way is how you learn to deal with anxiety and panic.

What is the main symptom most anxiety sufferers experience?

A tightness in the chest and associated breathing difficulty is a general symptom experienced by large numbers of panic attack sufferers. The key to getting through it is to take back control. The feeling of not being in control is the catalyst that leads to an ever-downward spiral into anxiety and panic. How do you take back control? Begin by getting your breathing under control. Take deep breaths, breathe deeply in, hold it for a few seconds and then breathe slowly out. Repeat this for about five minutes. Doing this gently and slowly will slow your heart rate down which in turn will lead to your feeling calmer.

What can you do to find a solution longterm?

Longterm, if you genuinely want to find a solution to your anxiety, you need to work out what your major fears are and learn to face them. When you successfully do this these fears will cease to have the kind of hold over you that they currently do. This in turn will ensure that when once-fearful situations arise in the future you will no longer experience the feelings of anxiety and panic that you once did.

Let's face it, all of us face stress daily as we live our lives. You're never going to get rid of that. The good news is that you can learn to cope with stress by changing the way you react to it and when you do this successfully you'll find your anxiety and panic attacks gradually become a thing of the past.

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Anger and Health

Anger and Health

by: Steven Stosny

The effects of anger on health have more to do with duration than frequency and intensity. The normal experience of overt anger lasts only a few minutes. But the subtle forms of anger, such as resentment, impatience, irritability, grouchiness, etc., can go on for hours and days at a time. Consistent, prolonged levels of anger give a person a five times greater chance of dying before age 50. Anger elevates blood pressure, increases threat of stroke, heart disease, cancer, depression, anxiety disorders, and, in general, depresses the immune system (angry people have lots of little aches and pains or get a lot of colds and bouts of flu or headaches or upset stomachs). To make matters worse, angry people tend to seek relief from the ill-moods caused by anger through other health-endangering habits, such as smoking and drinking, or through compulsive behavior such as workaholism and perfectionism.

Laboratory experiments have shown that even subtle forms of anger impair problem-solving abilities and general performance competence. In addition to increasing error rates, anger narrows and makes rigid mental focus, tending to obscure alternative perspectives. The angry person has one "right way" of doing things, which, if selected in anger, is seldom the best way. There is nothing you can do angry (resentful, irritable, grouchy, impatient, chilly) that you can’t do better not angry.

Because it acts on the entire central nervous system as an amphetamine, anger always produces a physiological "crash," often experienced as depression when the issues causing the anger remain unresolved. Think about it. The last time you got really angry, you got really depressed afterwards. The angrier you get, the more depressed you get. And that is merely the physiological response, even if you keep from doing something while angry that you're ashamed of, like hurting the feelings of someone you love.

What is an Anger Problem?

A dangerous myth about an "anger-problem" restricts its definition to aggression, abuse, hurting people, or destroying property. But this describes only one of a great many forms of anger. You have an anger problem if some subtle form of anger - that you may not even be aware of - makes you do what is not in your best interest or keeps you from performing at your highest potential. This could mean something subtle, like putting a chilly wall between you and others or a continual impatience or low frustration tolerance that interferes with problem solving and performance competence.

Whatever the form of anger, in persistence you run the risk of becoming a reactaholic, with your thoughts, feelings, and behavior totally controlled by whoever or whatever you’re reacting to. The more reactive you are, the more powerless you feel; anger is ultimately a cry of powerlessness.

Self-Compassion and Compassion for Others

Mastery of the three steps of self-compassion and compassion for others makes us virtually immune to the ill-effects of anger. The first step of self-compassion is seeing beneath the symptom or defense (anger, anxiety, manipulation, obnoxious behavior) to the cause, which is some form of core hurt (feeling unimportant, disregarded, accused, devalued, guilty, untrustworthy, rejected, powerless, unlovable). Second, the core hurt must be validated (this is how I feel at this moment), and, third, changed (this behavior or event or disappointment or mistake does not mean that I’m unimportant, not valuable or lovable.) Compassion for others is recognizing that their symptoms, defenses, and obnoxious behavior come from a core hurt, validating it, and supporting them while they change it. Compassion does not excuse obnoxious behavior. Rather, it keeps us from attacking the already wounded person, which allows focus on changing the undesired behavior.

Anger Regulation versus Anger Management

Regulation of anger means healing the hurt that causes it by internally restoring the core personal value that seems diminished by the behavior of another. In contrast, anger management requires enduring the hurt that causes the anger but redirecting its effects to avoid aggression and trouble. Anger regulation employs the principles of emotional intelligence: awareness of internal experience, the ability to control the meaning of one’s emotional experience, and empathy for the emotional experience of others. An excellent regulation technique, called HEALSTM, obviates the powerlessness of anger by providing the sense of internal power, well-being, self-compassion, and compassion for others necessary for optimal health and problem-solving. HEALSTM is a technology that, with practice, automatically invokes a response of self-compassion and compassion for others whenever anger and other symptoms and defenses are stimulated, keeping the focus on solutions to the problem, rather
than attacking the person. More than 90% effective in lowering anger to problem-solving and performance-efficient levels, HEALSTM can be learned in three or less sessions of training.

Anger at Your Children: Who Has the Power?

Every parent since the beginning of time has been painfully aware that children can do a great many things to irritate, frustrate, and otherwise turn the pleasant feelings of their caretakers into moods from hell. Those same creatures who look like little darlings when they sleep can almost at their whim produce headaches, upset stomachs, jangled nerves, strained muscles, aching bones, and overloaded emotional and sensory circuits.

But there’s one thing that even the most exuberant or obstinate of children cannot do: They can’t make us angry. They cannot force us to give up internal regulation of our emotional experience. To understand this scientific fact that seems to fly in the face of common sense, consider the psychobiological function of anger.

Why Anger is a Problem in Families

An automatic response triggered whenever we feel threatened, anger is the most powerful of all emotional experience. The only emotion that activates every muscle group and organ of the body, anger exists to mobilize the instinctual fight or flight response meant to protect us from predators. Of course, our children are not predators. For the vast majority of problems in family life, anger constitutes overkill and under-think. Applying this survival-level fight or flight response to everyday problems of family living is like using a rock to turn off a lamp or a tank to repair a computer.

Is anyone really stupid enough to turn off a lamp with a rock? When angry, everybody is that stupid. The problem has nothing to do with intelligence, it has to do with how hurt we are. Anger is always a reaction to hurt. It can be physical pain, which is why, when you bang your thumb with a hammer while trying to hang a picture, you don’t pray.

Far more often, though, anger is a reaction to psychological hurt or threat of hurt, in the form of a diminished sense of self. Vulnerability to psychological hurt depends entirely on how you feel about yourself. When your sense of self is weak or disorganized, anything can make you irritable or angry. When it’s solid and well-integrated, the insults and frustrations of life just roll off your back.

For instance, if you’ve had a bad day, if you’re feeling guilty, a little bit like a failure, or just disregarded, devalued, or irritable, you might come home to find your kid’s shoes in the middle of the floor and respond with: "That lazy, selfish, inconsiderate, little brat!" Yet you can come home after a great day of feeling fine about yourself, see the same shoes in the middle of the floor and think, "Oh, that’s just Jimmy or Sally," and not think twice about it.

The difference in your reaction to the child’s behavior lies entirely within you and depends completely on how you feel about yourself. In the first case the child’s behavior seems to diminish your sense of self: "If he cared about me, he wouldn’t do this; if my own kid doesn’t care about me, I must not be worth caring about." The anger is to punish the child for your diminished sense of self. In the second instance, the child’s behavior does not diminish your sense of personal importance, value, power, and lovability. So there is no need for anger. You don’t need a tank to solve the problem of the shoes in the middle of the floor. Rather, the problem to be solved is how to teach the child to be more considerate in his behavior; you won’t do that by humiliating him because you feel humiliated. His reaction to humiliation will be the same as yours: an inability see the other person’s perspective, an overwhelming urge to blame, and an impulse for revenge or punishment.

Modeling Anger Regulation for Children

Although their intellectual maturity is far less advanced than that of their parents, children experience anger for the same reasons as adults, mostly to defend the sense of self from pain and temporary diminishment. At the moment of anger, both children and adults feel bad about themselves. Making angry people feel worse about themselves will only make things worse. Rather, children must learn from their parents that the sense of self is internal and can be regulated only within themselves. They must restore their own sense of core value while respecting the rights of other people, which means regulating the impulse for revenge through validation of the hurt causing the urge for revenge, and through understanding the perspective of the person at whom the anger is directed. They will only learn to do this by watching their parents do it.

Self-Compassion and Compassion for Others

Mastery of the three steps of self-compassion and compassion for others makes us virtually immune to the ill-effects of anger. The first step of self-compassion is seeing beneath the symptom or defense (anger, anxiety, manipulation, obnoxious behavior) to the cause, which is some form of core hurt (feeling unimportant, disregarded, accused, devalued, guilty, untrustworthy, rejected, powerless, unlovable). Second, the core hurt must be validated (this is how I feel at this moment), and, third, changed (this behavior or event or disappointment or mistake does not mean that I’m unimportant, not valuable or lovable.) Compassion for others is recognizing that their symptoms, defenses, and obnoxious behavior come from a core hurt, validating it, and supporting them while they change it. Compassion does not excuse obnoxious behavior. Rather, it keeps us from attacking the already wounded person, which allows focus on changing the undesired behavior.

Anger Regulation

Here are a few of the common activators of anger, which we call core hurts: feeling disregarded, unimportant, accused, guilty, untrustworthy, devalued, rejected, powerless, unworthy of love. Once activated, core hurts put the sense of self at stake in solving the problem, which greatly distorts thinking, blows the problem out of proportion, and increases the emotional intensity of the response. Of course the child is responsible only for his/her behavior, not your sense of self.

To regulate anger, we must reduce the sensitivity of these activators. We must learn to view anger as a signal, not to assign blame to our children for tripping the activator, but to look within the self to reset the activated core hurt, i.e., to restore Core Value, a sense of personal adequacy and worthiness. With the sense of self no longer at stake, the problem, no longer a source of self-diminishment, can be solved for what it is: a call for more attention/effort, an inconvenience, disappointment, or mistake.

Emotional regulation skills can be learned fairly quickly in three concentrated learning sessions, with consistent practice between sessions. But whether learned through training or through personal experience that internally regulates anger activators, successful parenting, personal happiness, optimal work efficiency, physical and psychological health, and the capacity to sustain viable attachment relationships demands self-regulation of the impulse to anger and resentment.

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Get Rid Of Depression Once And For All

Get Rid Of Depression Once And For All

By: John Maxford


Depression is something that will occur in many people's lives, for various reasons. But the "normal" occurrence of a plunge in mood due to stressful events in your life, usually doesn't last very long, before a person's natural resilience responds to the environment of friends and family.

Treatment for depression and anxiety may be needed if you experience persistent, multiple symptoms for more than two weeks. These may include a combination of half or more of the following:

* Sleeplessness, insomnia
* Ongoing negative moods for no reason
* Lack of energy or ambition
* Feeling helpless or worthless
* Believing nobody cares
* Hyper states like edginess or nervousness
* Inability to make decisions or concentrate on things
* Physical aches and pains that don't go away
* Suicidal thoughts

Depending on the condition of a depressed person, they may require admission to a depression treatment center, where they can be monitored while receiving psychological counseling and medication therapy.

Depression is an emotional disorder, and nothing to be ashamed of. But often, people who are depressed are suffering from negative thoughts about themselves, and the illness can feed on that.

If you recognize five or more of the above symptoms in someone you love, talk to them about how they feel. If they won't talk to you, go to their family, friends, or even their doctor.

Treatment may be as simple as counseling and medication that can be undertaken while in their own environment, or the doctor may recommend a short stay in a depression treatment facility to get them back on an even keel.

The medications available have redefined the treatment for depression and anxiety, giving patients a break from the emotional state that is weighing them down, while they receive therapy to resolve the issues that caused their illness.

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Depression Can Turn into Joy

 Depression Can Turn into Joy

by: Ann Stewart


Depression is the most prevalent disease of our time. Under the guise of informing the public, both the medical profession and the media are constantly "warning" us of the dangers and probabilities of the disease most likely to terminate us. News about a lack of sufficient influenza vaccine is enough to get our collective blood pressure soaring.

Bad news is chronic and it affects us all. Do I have a magic pill that will make all the bad go away? No. But, there are ways to help us stay out of depression.

Live One Day At a Time

The Bible admonishes us to live each day to the fullest as there's enough evil in one day to handle! Don't look back on past hurts, nor fret about tomorrow. Live today as if it is the only day you have. Make each day so full of the present that yesterday and its problems are completely shut out and tomorrow is unattainable! Choose to focus all your thoughts and energy on what is at hand, and do everything to the best of your ability.

Watch Your Tongue!

The power of life and death are in the tongue. Words can both bless and curse. Negative words can evoke great fear and anxiety. The mind paints a picture of every word we hear or see. Although words are not tangible, they have the power to bring about physical matter! The earth was created by the Word of God's Power! Negative words always produce negative impulses, whether minute or major. Conversely, positive words make you feel good. A mere smile and a happy: "Have a great day!" instantly exude warmth. So, be careful of what you allow to sink deeply into your subconscious.

Happiness Is a Choice

We can choose to dwell on bad news and perpetuate it by speaking about it, or to swiftly replace our thoughts and words with constructive ones. Whenever we hear good music, our feet start tapping, we’re humming the melody, and pretty soon we're happy. Our thoughts respond to what we feed the mind through our senses. Therefore, we CAN choose to be happy! Start practicing to switch off the minuses in your life and concentrate on the pluses.

Gratitude; the Antidote

Thankfulness is one of the greatest virtues. If you divided a page in two and wrote all your setbacks on one side and all the blessings on the other, you would find that your blessings far outnumber the negatives. The Bible says to give thanks with a grateful heart for all things.

God Is In Control!

Start each day by thanking God, your creator and loving father. He knew you before you were born and knows your end. Spend time in the Word, especially the Psalms. You will receive a new refreshing, empowerment and warmth.

Some Practical Recommendations

1) Get lots of sunshine. Melatonin, a hormone produced only in the dark, lowers the body temperature and makes you feel sluggish.

2) Keep busy. Taking frequent strolls, playing sports, or volunteering help chase the blues away.

3) Pamper yourself every now and then. Take a day and just have fun, doing what you like most.

4) Eat nutritiously. Sugar, caffeine, and alcohol will eventually cause anxiety, tension, and internal problems.

5) Socialize. Hang out with people who are up-beat and give moral support.

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The Neurotic Dogs

The Neurotic Dogs

by: Eric Shapiro

When pondering whether my neurosis is learned or genetic, I often turn to the family dogs, Frazier (9) and Jake (4), and see the likelihood of a learned origin. My parents' characteristic anxiety has effectively seeped into both dogs' personas.

My mother and father are both card-carrying neurotics with drastically different sensibilities. The former engages in an overt style of panic characterized by covering her eyes when our car seems close to hitting another car that's three hundred yards down the road. The latter is more of a concealer; I would cite one of his quirks in this sentence, but the ensuing disownment would be harsh.

Frazier, a beige mix of Bichon and Poodle, arrived in our home when I was in the ninth grade. For the first few months, he struck us as an emotionally balanced individual, but it wasn't long before the wide, glassy eyes and quivering lower lip set in. Like his human siblings before him, he experienced separation anxiety in the absence of his parents. Unlike his human siblings, Frazier saw it fit to pace around the unoccupied house for hours, howling to the ceiling and holding his paw against his beating heart. Such behavior, though unquestionably neurotic, was at least grounded in recognizable childhood symptomology. It wasn't until the arrival of Jake, during Frazier's fifth year, that Frazier experienced a full-fledged nervous breakdown.

Given the instability of Frazier's ego, the appearance of Jake--an energetic full-blooded poodle with black hair and a trim gray beard--was emotionally catastrophic. When he wasn't lying on his stomach leering into the abyss, Frazier went as far as to commit acts of physical violence upon his younger brother. We knew not to be fooled by the innocent look in Frazier's eye when his leash somehow ended up around Jake's neck.

Jake, who entered our home as somewhat of a free spirit, was oblivious to Frazier's brooding melancholy. He ran and played with the best of them. He developed a flourishing social identity among the locals. However, it wasn't long before the torch of neurosis was passed onto Jake. From whose hands or paws the torch came is difficult to determine, but genetic theories strike me as inadmissible.

Jake's inaugural phobia was a fear of vacuum cleaners. We have various vacuums in our home, and Jake's fear of each is proportional to its size and volume. When the biggest vacuum is about to be used, Jake requires an explicit and descriptive monologue preparing him for what is to come. The monologue is best performed with the speaker's hand firmly applied to the top of Jake's head. We've found that with the aid of such verbal reassurances, Jake's anxiety in the presence of the vacuum cleaners has decreased by 3 or 4 percent.

By now, we're pleased to announce that Frazier has overcome his initial aversion to Jake. Not only do they dine together frequently, but they've also come to display the sincerest form of love in our family: they worry about one another. When Jake's out jogging in the backyard and Frazier's sobbing from the window, his tears run rich with affection.

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How To Recognise Depression

How To Recognise Depression

by: Ray Stone

Mental health, not the sort of thing most people choose to talk about seriously. We've all heard the comments about 'Sad Sack', 'Mr Grumpy' or phrases like 'Smile, I'll pay for the stitches' or 'Stop moping around'. It saddens me every time I hear a remark like that, something insensitive or said out of plain ignorance, usually by people who have little or no contact with people who suffer from depression, and most certainly do not have a loved one or family member that suffers from depression or any other mental disorder, that can so easy get a tight grip on a sufferers life. It's almost tabboo if you think about it.

Suffering from depression or mental health problems, is something that most people feel ashamed to admit. Who wouldn't, with comments like those above aimed right at you. If you have suffered from major depression or have had an episode of depression that has contributed significantly to a change in your daily life, facing up to comments like those above is something that you will have to accecpt sooner or later.

What about those people who don't suffer a major depression or severe episode, whether life-threatening or not? Those of us who definately don't have depression and definately don't need to see a shrink to confirm what we already know: that we are not depressed! This brings me to the core of this article: How do you recognise depression?

It is so very important to be vigilant. To be aware of the warning signs, and the earlier they are spotted, the better. Why? Because being depressed leads to behaviour that is not helpful. Behaviour that over time, is reinforced day after day, month after month. Slowly but surely getting a firm grip on your life. It is much harder to spot a change in behaviour if it occurs and develops gradually over time. But what are these signs and behaviour that we should look out for?

The most common symptom of depression and one which most people think is the only one is having a persistant empty or 'sad' mood. This is not what can sometimes be reffered to as feeling 'down in the dumps'. The mood will last from several weeks at least. At which point you should see a psychiatrist or doctor. A feeling of pessimism, hopelessness or helplessness and being critical of oneself for never being good enough at anything no matter what we do. Depression can lead to a lack of interest in persuits someone usually enjoys. Feeling lethargic or having no enegry or drive, even for sex, is another symptom of depression that can slowly be re-enforced over time. Trouble with sleeping and eating is a symptom that most people would not usually associate with depression. Sleeping disorders are often dismissed as having developed a mild case of insomnia that will surely go away over time. Some people wake early in the morning and are unable to fall back asleep. Eating disturbances to, especially in women, can hide the depression, because the first thing that will come to mind is anorexia or bulimia. This is true, but we also need to place these symptoms in context, which is why it is so important to know the facts and symptoms of depression so that we can see the bigger picture.

Depression often goes hand in hand with anxiety. Anxiety can also cause sleeping disturbances, as well as a feeling of dread, increased heart rate and more severely, panic attacks. Depression and anxiety can easily knock our confidence levels as both can lead to difficulty concerntrating and remembering or making decisions. These symptoms can climax with devistating effect. Within the workplace they can lead to a complete nervous breakdown where the person no longer knows, or can't remember how to do their job or how they even got there. Nothing makes sense and it can be very frightening when you are faced with a situation like this where you no longer know what is happening around you, or much less, why you are feeling this way. Depression can also manifest itself through persistent physical symptoms or pains that do not seem to respond to treatment. Irritable and losing ones temper are also symptoms of deppression, seen more often in males than females. Thoughts of suicide, attempts and plans are never to be taken lightly. Often, suicide attempts are a cry for help. Sometimes they are not.

A person can be diagnosed with depression if four or more of the symptoms above have been present in a two week period or more. Not everyone will have the same symptoms so it is important to be aware and look for signs of all symptoms of depression. Remember, only a doctor or psychiatrist can diagnose depression.

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Bipolar Disorder And The Symptoms

Bipolar Disorder And The Symptoms

by: Ray Stone

Bipolar disorder is also known as manic depression. Bipolar disorder is a psychological disorder that effects a person's mood. The mood swings are very extreme with a manic (high elation) phase and a very deep depressive phase. There is estimated to effect approximately 1% of the adult population. There is also evidence that shows that neither men nor women have a greater chance of suffering from bipolar disorder than the other. Bipolar is the third most common disorder after major depression and dysthymic disorder (a mild but persistent form of depression). Because of the extreme psychological disturbances caused by bipolar disorder, it can destroy lives. Alcohol and drug problems are often present in sufferers and without proper medication and care, it leads to 20% of sufferers committing suicide.



Many people experience a depressive phase most of the time, while only experiencing very few manic episodes. It is the swing between moods that people find hardest to deal with. Although no one would care to feel deeply depressed.



There is no cure for bipolar disorder and it is a life-long condition that often needs to be controlled with medication. Lithium is used to help control mania phases of people who suffer from bipolar disorder. Bipolar often begins in adolescence or early adulthood, and continues throughout life. Bipolar disorder is very seldom diagnosed in people who are 40 years old and above.



Types of Phases



Although it is generally accepted that bipolar disorder alternates the sufferers mood between mania and depression, the American Psychiatric Association has identified four different moods that are experienced in varying degrees of intensity and length, or not at all.



Depression - typical depression from a lack of motivation or interest in anything including eating to thoughts and attempts at suicide.



Mania - often begins with an elated or euphoric feeling. can also cause a sufferer to feel angry and irritable.



Hypomania - a milder form of mania where the person feels good and feels they are becoming more productive with their life.



Mixed mood - a mixed episode is characterised by experiencing feelings of mania and depression all in the same day.



Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder



Bipolar disorder symptoms are disturbances or abnormality of moods with the sufferer alternating between a manic phase and a depressive phase repetitively.



Depressive Phase Symptoms

Very deep negative moods often with thoughts or attempts at suicide.

Eating disorders.

No interest in activities enjoyed in the past.

None or very little interest in sex.

No self esteem.

Sleeping problems high an low.

Feeling guilty.



Manic Phase Symptoms

Excessive high or euphoric feelings along with many grand or over-ambitious ideas or plans.

Excessive amounts of energy.

Unnaturally high self-esteem and self-belief.

Increased sex drive which may lead to promiscuity and aggressive sexual behaviour.

Extreme irritability and easily distracted.

Alcohol and drug abuse, usually cocaine and sleeping medication.

Little need for sleep.

Manic phase lasts at least one week.

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Emotional Healing is the Answer...The Question is: How Were You Hurt?

Emotional Healing is the Answer...The Question is: How Were You Hurt?

by: Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

If you are having trouble with relationships—on the job, in your family; or experience low self-esteem, panic attacks, anxiety, depression, alcohol/drug abuse, nightmares, suicidal thoughts or attempts, shame, guilt, baseless crying, angry outbursts, inability to recognize your feelings, mood swings, emotional shut down, numbing out, arthritis/joint pain, chronic/acute fear, headaches/migraines, eating disorders, PMS, gastrointestinal/gynecological disorders, chronic fatigue syndrome, MS or fibromyalgia, you are not alone. Many men and women experience this kind of pain. Many, if not most, do not know sexual abuse/incest is the cause of their emotional/ physical pain. They attribute these maladies to their inadequacy for the rigors of adult life or genetic abnormality.

Family violence research reveals sexual abuse is as high as 62% for females and 31% for males. Whether the abuse occurred once or several times is irrelevant, because the damage is incurred immediately. The damage is profound, extensive and pervasive—it is a soul injury. Time, money, pills, surgery, marriage, children, moving, jobs, divorce, perfectionism can not heal the pain.

Talk therapy is inadequate to uncover the emotional pain, and heal the trauma trapped in muscles and tissue. To fully appreciate the depth of this pain, I will quote one of my clients, "Even my blood hurts." A multifaceted healing process specifically focused on sexual abuse recovery and diligent work is the most effective; wherein the survivor can replenish their emotional and spiritual identity and empowerment.

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I Can't Wait To Got To the Dentist!

 I Can't Wait To Got To the Dentist!

by: Heidi Perry


I had a dental appointment this morning. I loved every minute of it.

Well, okay, maybe I didn't enjoy every minute. But, I did look forward to it weeks in advance, and I woke up happy and exhilarated at the thought of going to the dentist this morning.

Really, I did!

By now, you're thinking, "Boy, Heidi's been playing Chinese checkers on her computer screen way too long and is more than a marble short!"

While I won't argue with you on the one-marble-too-short claim, I did have a motive for my anticipation.

You see, I'm a mother of four children all of whom I homeschool. I'm also and entrepreneur and co-owner of a successful business which I run out of my home. You can imagine how hectic my life is on a daily basis.

What does this have to do with the dentist?

In two words...READING TIME!

Now, like all good entrepreneurs, I get my hands on everything I can to read. I have walls of bookcases filled with books and courses on marketing and other entrepreneurial delicacies. I have books on my bed stand, magazines in the bathroom, binders of printed eBooks in my car.

I, literally, have reading material with me everywhere I go, even on dates with my husband. Actually, we usually end up talking business over dinner and then going to the bookstore.

Neither of us can imagine running our business without the wealth of knowledge available to us.

So...

As my dental appointment drew closer, I excitedly went through all my reading piles to select one bit of reading material that had been screaming at me for the last month.

Ahhh, a chance to sit quietly with no children, no interruptions, no phone calls...just myself and my book. Oh, yes, and my pencil for taking notes.

I was a reading maniac, soaking in every word.

So, where in the world is this article going? I'm going to make a confession to you...

My husband and I both attribute our success to the knowledge we have gained through reading and studying, and then...putting that knowledge to work.

Actually, I have another confession to make...

The quest for knowledge to become successful never ends.

It doesn't matter which successful entrepreneur you talk to. They will all have these things in common: they have boatloads of books, they read everyday, and they view their marketing efforts as a continually evolving and learning adventure.

So, I issue you this challenge. Turn off the T.V. tonight and find something worthwhile to read that will help your business or your personal growth.

And, if necessary, make an appointment to visit the dentist.

Copyright 2004 Heidi Perry

www.MySecretConfessionSpace.com

Addiction to Self-Judgment

 Addiction to Self-Judgment

by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.


“I’m such a jerk. How could I have said that?”
“I’m a looser. I’ll never get anywhere.”
“I’m so stupid. I should have learned this by now.”
“I don’t fit in. I don’t belong with these people.”
“I’ll never be good enough. I’ll never do it right enough.”
“I’m permanently emotionally damaged. I’ll never be okay.”
“No one could love me. I’m not lovable.”

…and so on and so on.

Are you aware of your self-judgments? Are you aware of how often you judge yourself as bad, wrong, or inadequate? Are you aware of how you end up feeling as a result of your self-judgments?

In my counseling work with people, I find that self-judgment is one of the major causes of fear, anger, anxiety and depression. Yet most people don’t realize that these painful feelings are the result of their own thoughts, their own self-judgments. Most of the time, when I ask an anxious client why they are feeling anxious, they tell me that it’s because of something that happened to them. They usually believe that an event or a person caused their anxiety. Yet when I ask them what they are thinking that might be causing their anxiety, they will tell me a self-judgment such as, “I’ll never get this right,” or they are projecting their own judgment onto me and telling themselves, “Margaret doesn’t like me,” or “Margaret is getting impatient with me.” When they judge themselves or make up that I’m judging them, they get anxious. There is nothing actually happening that is causing their anxiety, other than their own thoughts.

Pointing out to them that they are causing their anxiety with their self-judgment doesn’t not necessarily stop the judgment. This is because self-judgment is often an addiction. An addiction is a habitual behavior that is intended to protect against pain. What is the pain that self-judgment is intended to protect against?

Generally, the hope of self-judgment is to protect against rejection and failure. The false beliefs are that, “If I judge myself, then others won’t judge me and reject me. I can be safe from others’ judgment by judging myself first,” or “If I judge myself, I can motivate myself to do things right and succeed. Then I will feel safe and be loved and accepted by others.”

However, just as a child does far better in school with encouragement than with criticism, so do we as adults. Criticism tends to scare and immobilize us. Instead of motivating us, it often creates so much anxiety that we get frozen and become unable to take appropriate action for ourselves. More self-judgment follows the lack of action, which results in more anxiety and immobilization, until we create a situation where we are completely stuck and miserable.

The way out of this is to become aware of the feelings of fear, anxiety, anger or depression and then ask yourself, “What did I just tell myself that is creating this feeling?” Once you become aware of the self-judgment, you can then ask yourself, “Am I certain that what I am telling myself is true?” If you are not 100% certain that what you are telling yourself is true, you can ask your higher, wise self or a spiritual source of wisdom, “What is the truth?” If you are really open to learning about the truth, the truth will pop into your mind, and it will be much different than what you have been telling yourself.

For example, “I’m such a jerk. How could I have said that?” becomes “We all mess up at times. It’s okay to make mistakes - it’s part of being human. Making a mistake does not mean that you are a jerk.” When we open to the truth, we will discover a kind and compassionate way of speaking to ourselves, a way that makes us feel loved and safe rather than anxious, angry or depressed.

Addictions are always challenging to resolve, and an addiction to self-judgment is no exception. So be easy on yourself, and don’t judge yourself for judging yourself! It will take time and dedication to become aware of your self-judgments and learn to be kind toward yourself, but the end result is so worth the effort!

www.MySecretConfessionSpace.com

Alcohol, a Drug that is Overlooked

 Alcohol, a Drug that is Overlooked

by: Samuel Durand


It all happened to us. Quench a growing thirst by satisfying the prevailing need to refresh our bodies. A night out in a bar on a hot summer evening, who wouldn't give in to the little pleasures of quietly sipping a delightful Pina Colada, carefully prepared by a talented bartender? It's so delicious, why not have another one? The alcohol is barely noticeable, so what could be the harm? You give in to temptation one more time, and take a third one. The effects of alcohol rapidly begin to show themselves, but this doesn't stop you from taking one last Pina Colada, you know, just for the ride back home. That's all you remember of your night the next day. A throbbing headache awakes you in the morning, a horrid breath, all of this accompanied by the familiar sensation of queasiness.

It's no secret, alcohol is a common beverage served in social gatherings, parties, homes and even in religious celebrations. Therefore, it is anything but surprising that the general perception on the dangers of alcohol is underestimated and anything but worrisome for some. Alcohol is generally thought of as being a beverage that "relaxes the atmosphere." Furthermore, brand names and alcoholic percentage come into play as to the pricing of such beverages. Overall, finding alcohol to drink is easy, relatively inexpensive, but most importantly, it's legal.

*Alcohol, a Real Drug*

Categorically, we are quick to be judgemental about those who are addicted to drugs (marijuana, cocaine, heroine, methamphetamine, etc.). Nevertheless, we don't stop there. Many don't truly grasp and understand the reasons that may push someone towards substance abuse, and are unable to realize the difficulty the drug addict faces in quitting. However, when someone becomes an alcoholic, we tend to tolerate and accept this fact with much more ease. Yet, alcohol is a drug. Few actually believe it, but it is.

To fully grasp the hazards of alcohol, it will be compared to the widely known drug Marijuana. We already know that alcohol is legal. Everyone 18 years and older in Quebec may freely buy any desired quantity. The age limit in other provinces varies according to provincial legislature. In the United States of America, it takes 21 years of age to legally possess any alcoholic beverage. Marijuana is illegal nationwide to consume and cultivate, and perpetrators are severely punished for this offence by the police forces. As a drug, Marijuana does pose health risks to individuals, hence it is downright correct for it to be illegal. Many teenagers have already consumed Marijuana, since they particularly enjoy the "highs" it gives them. Predictably, they equally enjoy drinking alcohol and partying over weekends.

"It's liquid courage, I can pick up women, I can get in fights and feel no pain," reported a former alcoholic.

Below is a table demonstrating the known effects of alcohol and Marijuana on the human body:

##Alcohol##

Status: Legal

Side effects*:

-Slower reflexes

-Fewer inhibitions

-Increased confidence

-Reduced coordination

-Slurred speech

-Intense moods

-Confusion

-Blurred vision

-Poor muscle control

-Nausea-Vomiting

-Possibly coma or death

*Depending on volume of alcohol consumed

##Marijuana##

Status: Illegal

Side effects:

-Memory and learning problems

-Distorted perception

-Difficulty thinking and solving problems

-Bloodshot eyes

-Dry mouth and throat

-Faster heartbeat and pulse rate

By looking at the side effects of both drugs, Marijuana appears to be a mild drug when compared to alcohol. Even though the side effects of alcohol vary according to the amount of alcohol ingested, we rarely limit ourselves to a single glass. Age, sex, body build and metabolism are also factors influencing the effects of alcohol on an individual.

*Alcohol in our Society*

Nevertheless, the outreach of alcohol extends far beyond the boundaries of our bodies. Since it is legal, millions of alcoholic beverages are served daily across North America in local pubs, bars and clubs. Not only does this alcohol consumption lead to decreased inhibitions, it also paves the road for sexual harassment issues and undesired sexual acts, which may undoubtedly lead to the spreading of sexually transmitted diseases (STD). Violent acts and numerous assaults are repeatedly being reported to the police, and in many cases, both victim and culprit were under the influence of alcohol.

"Forty percent of people convicted of violent victimizations (sexual assault, robbery, homicide, aggravated assault, and simple assault) and 25 percent of victims had been drinking at the time of the event."
source: Bureau of Justice Statistics, 1998

"Alcohol is closely linked with violence. About 40 percent of all crimes (violent and non-violent) are committed under the influence of alcohol."
source: Bureau of Justice Statistics, 1998

Individuals may also feel confident and unflustered by the thought of driving home drunk. Drinking and driving is a serious issue in North America, destroying families, ruining friendships and generating exorbitant financial problems. The news channels always seem to have new footage to demonstrate the horrid scenes resulting from a fatal car accident caused by a drunk driver. Not only does the drunk driver put his own life in peril, he is equally an impending threat to all of those travelling at that very moment. Statistics for alcohol-related crashes are alarmingly high, truly worrisome and necessitate our immediate attention.

"Approximately 1.4 million drivers were arrested in 2003 for driving under the influence of alcohol or narcotics. This is an arrest rate of 1 for every 135 licensed drivers in the United States of America."
Source: NHTSA, 2005

"About three in ten Americans will be involved in an alcohol-related crash at some time in their lives."
Source: NHTSA, 2001

On the other hand, non-profit organizations, drug rehabilitation and prevention centers and numerous other volunteers are continually seeking to educate and spread awareness among the population on the effects of alcohol. Be it by advertising campaigns, through drug prevention conferences or simply by conversation, these organizations wish to reduce and ultimately, eliminate the threat alcohol poses to our daily lives.

A former alcoholic explained, "Alcohol is the most widely accepted way in the world to kill yourself, kill perfect strangers, family members and children. You think it gives you a new life, but it only ends life."

Unfortunately, much of their efforts are countered by the alcohol industry itself. Quite obviously, alcohol is a thriving industry generating huge profits for brewing companies. Their advertising capabilities are much more developed, due to their large budgets and influence. Therefore, the number of alcohol-related advertisements (beer, wine, liquor, etc.) greatly outnumbers those for awareness. Furthermore, alcohol is currently portrayed in music videos, sporting events (through sponsorships) and on objects of any kind. This only increases the visibility of alcohol-based products, hence reaching out towards a younger audience, which is rarely of drinking age.

"Recent advertising expenditures in the United States for beer, wine, and liquor combined ($1.9 billion) totalled over 10 times the amount spent on milk ads ($137.7 million).
Source: TNS Media Intelligence/CMR, 2004 and Agricultural Marketing Service, 2002

"Each year, college students spend approximately $5.5 billion on alcohol- more than they spend on soft drinks, milk, juice, tea, coffee and books combined."
Source: Drug Strategies, 1999

"Young people view approximately 20,000 commercials each year, of which nearly 2,000 are for beer and wine."
Source: Strasburger & Donnerstein, 1999

Alcohol Addiction, a.k.a Alcoholic

Alcohol dependence is a growing issue in our modern society. Contrarily to a drug addict, an alcoholic doesn't face the same type of pressure from his entourage. It is much easier to dissimulate an alcohol addiction than a cocain addiction. By attending social events, the alcoholic doesn't feel the need to hide his addiction, since everyone around him/her is also drinking. Also, due to the predominant idea that an alcohol addiction isn't all that bad, because alcohol is legal, the alcoholic doesn't feel such an urging need to recognize his addiction and solve this problem.

The beverage alcohol (scientifically known as ethyl alcohol or ethanol) is produced by fermenting or distilling various fruits, vegetables, or grains. Ethyl alcohol itself is a clear and colourless liquid. All of the alcoholic beverages get their distinctive colours from the diluents, additives, and by-products of fermentation.

There are two main types of alcoholic dependence: psychological and physical. Nevertheless, a long-term drug abuse still poses serious health risks, such as severe liver damage and a noticeable increase for heart disease and failure. The Fetal Alcohol Syndrome may result if a pregnant woman drinks alcohol throughout her pregnancy. The child is born with facial abnormalities and may experience growth retardation.

A psychological dependence on alcohol mainly refers to a craving for alcohol's psychological effects, without necessarily requiring amounts for a serious alcoholic intoxication. It is also possible for such an addiction to occur to individuals consuming alcohol only during certain circumstances, such as prior, during and after a social occasion. For psychologically dependent drinkers, the lack of alcohol tends to make them anxious and, in some cases, panicky. This particular type of dependence isn't as damaging and harmful as physical dependence, since the individual is relying on the alcohol to help him/her reduce their inhibitions and increase their confidence.

A former addict declared, "I am so much of a coward, that I need a drink before ANYTHING."

Physical dependence occurs mainly in heavy drinkers. They are prime targets for this type of addiction, since they continually resort to excessive drinking to "escape" from a problem. Over time, their bodies have developed a tolerance to the presence of alcohol in the bloodstream. So, if they suddenly decide to quit cold turkey, they will suffer from withdrawal symptoms ranging from jumpiness, sweating, sleeplessness, convulsions, poor appetite, hallucinations, and sometimes even death.

Both types of dependencies foster violence and/or deterioration of personal relationships. Young minds can suffer dearly from alcohol abuse, since it will interfere with their schooling, career goals, and may eventually lead to unemployment.

Solving the Problem

Being afflicted with any type of addiction is never easy. Even if initially it was a personal choice to try the addictive substance, few actually wished or even thought of becoming addicted. It is most difficult for alcoholics to quit on their own, for like all of the other drugs, there are unpleasant withdrawal symptoms associated with quitting. The discomfort and disquieting feeling experienced while quitting is of little encouragement for a drug addict. Yet, there are other possibilities.

No one has to go through this determining step of his or her life alone. Drug rehabilitation centers are there to support and help the individual accomplish his goal: overcome his/her addiction. Choosing the right drug detoxification treatment is of capital importance, so as to give the individual the best tools and opportunities to completely eliminate his/her addiction from his/her life.

Among the many types of drug rehabilitations programs available, Narconon offers a unique, 100% natural, biophysical drug treatment program. Without using any substitute drugs, Narconon's program is specifically targeted at eliminating drug residues from the body. By diminishing the withdrawal symptoms to their lowest levels, the individual gradually regains his composure and awareness of his surroundings. Both the physical and psychological aspects of drug addiction are addressed in the Narconon program, so that the individual may go on to live a drug-free lifestyle after completion of the program.

Hopefully, alcohol will play a less important role in our lives as the years go by, awareness among the population will significantly increase, and drunk driving will no longer be a pressing issue. By recognizing the direct and indirect impacts alcohol has on our lives, we can more easily understand how many lives are shattered due to substance abuse. Eventually, we will all look past this false barrier of security, and see alcohol for what it really is.

References:

Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD)
http://www.madd.com/stats/1789

California Narcotic Officer's Association
http://www.cnoa.org/articles.htm

Bureau of Justice Statistics (U.S.A Government)
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/

National Highway Traffic Safety Association
http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/

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